A Really Cool Online Marketing Course!
Whenever I have a question, I ask my mother. It’s a default move, driven by my own laziness, and the likelihood that she will answer the phone.(She always does)Since beginning my blog; however, I have questions that require particular information not typically found in supermarket tabloids, crossword puzzles, the Hallmark channel, or any of her other sources. I asked anyway. “Mom, how do I increase traffic to my website?” She told me to talk to my father about traffic; since she wasn’t very good at picking routes during commute hours. So, I went to my dad, who told me to just forget it! Nobody ever made money blobbing. “Concentrate on working a real job,” he told me, so I went to my sister, who warned me about pyramid schemers who presumably preyed on bloggers. My other sister was too busy building a pyramid scheme to help me out. Clearly, if I was to get my question answered, I would have to take it outside the family.
I signed up for a free 2-hour seminar given by a prominent leader in the field of social media. Surely, my frustrations would be addressed in a venue as such; if not, there would likely be a question and answer period at the end.The lecture was so boring; if the speaker was talking about anything I needed to know, I wouldn’t have known it. I felt like Pee Wee Herman at the Alamo, when he was told to hold all questions until the end. Finally the house lights came on and the lecturer opened the floor for questions.
“How do I get more traffic to my website?” I blurted.
The lecturer looked at me as if no one has asked that question before then said, “Have you considered cognitive behavioral therapy in order to assess and evaluate your dysfunctional problematic way of thinking?” I thanked him for that, told him I’d consider it, then realized that if I was ever to get my question answered, I’d have to go outside of the family and pick a seminar where I would not be singled out as the crazy one.
I got an e-mail from Nitro Marketing advertising a 3-day seminar for online entrepreneurs. The cost? Only $97, so I signed up, then went to Priceline and booked a room at a rock-bottom price. How could I possibly lose?
“I’m going to a writers’ conference in L.A.,” I told my family, so they wouldn’t think I was getting involved in some money-making Internet cult-scheme. Everybody seemed to be okay with me being a writer, just not an internet writer. When I got to the hotel the first morning, I looked at the events board and didn’t see the seminar listed. “Oh my gosh!” I thought, “I’ve been scammed for $97 by a money-making-online-marketing-course-cult-scheme!” And then I looked again and noticed it was listed as “Everyday Online Entrepreneur,” not, “Money-Making-Online-Marketing-Course-Cult Scheme.”
The seminar was everything I expected and more! I met people who will be my friends forever, even if they did choose to throw me out of the lifeboat. (You will have to attend the seminar to see what I’m talking about). The seminar leader, Don Osborne kept us engaged and amused until 10:30PM that first night (with meal breaks), not letting us go until we understood how to do keyword searches! He answered every-one’s questions, and I listened to all of the answers, even the ones that had nothing to do with ME.
I admit, I will probably still go to my mother for questions about laundry and celebrity gossip, but when it comes to my blog, I now know where to find answers to all my questions. I highly recommend this seminar for anyone who has a desire to make money online.or who just wants to bond with great people and stay in a nice hotel.
Receiving my online marketing degree
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Glad to know things are going well.Good job Dawn
No offense but I’d throw you out of the lifeboat too. You are too skinny. You drop ten pounds you could puncture the raft and we all die. The fat people get to stay because if sharks attack you throw one of them into the water and the sharks are happy and leave the rest of us alone. If they are health conscious sharks they will go back to a fish diet and leave us alone. Either way a win for the rest of us. Your only chance would be if there are no good looking women on the raft. Guys always hope that in a crisis situation, such as this, that a beautiful woman will say “since we are going to die out here I want to at least try all the naughty sex things that I fantasized about but never had the courage to try……with all of you!” So, if you throw in the “hottie” factor and “ACT” like you have been a virgin all your life WITH some really “HOT” fantasies that have gone unfulfilled……THEN you get to stay in the boat. I don’t know if your mom would have given you that advice. If she did…you might be seeking therapy afterwards so best not to ask her. I need to go take a shower now…for some strange reason I feel dirty.
Umm. I don’t quite know how to follow that last reply. Throwing cold water on the computer would cause more problems than solve them. but……I could benefit from your original quest with my building website. I’ll be picking your brain from time to time. See you at rehearsal.
Of course I am joking….guys never have fantasies about women, you are not too skinny and of course you are a hottie and fat people…..well…I’m sorry they have to go in the water. Good motivation for people to eat more healthy. Just trying to help out. (Did they buy that? Didn’t think so) But I am joking. Questionable taste yes, but america..free speech…not buying that either, huh? Okay…I’m getting back to the boat.
Sounds like the seminar was a great idea!
I love your blogging! Your descriptions make me laugh!!!
Am glad the seminar was terrific.
I was at the seminar as well. I was the guy that has been hit by lightening twice. Probably don’t want me in a life boat if there is a storm. I agree with your takeaway from the event. I met some incredable people and left with more than I payed for in knowledge and skills. I like the way you tell a story as well. Wishing you well in your online world.
Great post, Dawn. Funny and well written. As far as the seminar goes.
It was awesome. The knowledge we gained there brings us a lot closer to internet marketing success. Also, it did wonders to relieve my
CSS. No, not cascading style sheets , Computer Stress Sydrome!
My favorite line in your post is “It’s a default move,” You could write
a book on default moves.
Thanks,
Jack Happnie
Dawn you are the absolute best writer ever. You just haven’t been “discovered”. It appears you are learning to be free of other peoples good intentions. Hang in there. It takes a long time to become an overnight success! Ron
Dawn,
Great post! I was also at the 3-day Everyday Online Entrepreneur Event. Fortunately or unfortunately, I missed the boat. Story of my life.:-)
I am not a ‘newbie’ per se, but I love internet marketing events, meeting people, networking, taking photos. All the love and hanging with people who want to do more with their lives than work for someone else. The energy is just fantastic.
Great Post, Dawn. Love your sense of humor about your mother and questions. Wish I could have been at the conference.
Kim
Hey,
Thought this blog was entertaining as all get out. Loved it!
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